“I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents and developed cures for diseases,” he said at a press conference. “I only took my present form because Bingodulla, whom all Scientologists worship as the Supreme Thetan, selected me to spread the gospel of Scientology to the glib, uninformed masses.”
Archives for August 2005
Reuel Marc Gerecht, the director of the Project For a New American Century’s Middle East Initiative, and therefore one of the people whose vision laid the groundwork for the project of “Democratizing Iraq,” told the folks on Meet the Press exactly what — and who — is important to his conception of democracy last week:
Actually, I’m not terribly worried about [the Iraqi Constitution’s exclusion of women’s rights]. I mean, one hopes that the Iraqis protect women’s social rights as much as possible. It certainly seems clear that in protecting the political rights, there’s no discussion of women not having the right to vote. I think it’s important to remember that in the year 1900, for example, in the United States, it was a democracy then. In 1900, women did not have the right to vote. If Iraqis could develop a democracy that resembled America in the 1900s, I think we’d all be thrilled. I mean, women’s social rights are not critical to the evolution of democracy. We hope they’re there. I think they will be there. But I think we need to put this into perspective.
VFW member Bill Moyer came well- equipped to attend George W. Bush’s speech to a convention of the Veterans of Foreign Wars in Salt Lake City recently. The bullshit did fly at this speech, which focused on the theme of “sacrifice,” something that Bush, currently on a five-week vacation during a major war, knows little about. I’m willing to bet that Bill Moyer does, though.
Weblogs and respectable news organizations alike are all a-twitter this morning about Pat Robertson’s statement that the United States should assassinate Venezualan President Hugo Chavez, with people on both left and right asking if Pat has finally rolled right over the edge of sanity. For those who haven’t caught it yet, here’s Pat’s words:
“We have the ability to take [Hugo Chavez] out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability,” Robertson said Monday on the Christian Broadcast Network’s “The 700 Club.”
“We don’t need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator,” he continued. “It’s a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with.”
All the excitement implies that Pat’s never done anything like this before, and in fact has been a relatively stable, intelligent human being, and, if not brimming over with the milk of human kindness, at least a master of discretion. It’s true that Robertson’s statement stampedes right over Constitutional issues, the Sixth Commandment, practically the entire text of the Gospels, and basic human decency as if they were all so much fairy dust, but for anyone who’s ever paid any attention to Robertson, this is just the same shit, different day. As such, I think this would be a good opportunity to review some of Pat’s greatest hits: [Read more…]
The nice folks at Focus on the Family give parents a few pointers on how to keep their little darlings from growing up to be homos. Interestingly, they seem to be a lot more concerned about keeping boys from going down the path of queerness than girls. In the end, I suppose what freaks fundamentalists out is the idea of all their butch, manly men becoming swishy, effeminate faggots with a highly-developed fashion sense; women being fairly irrelevant to your average fundy, dykes aren’t quite so scary. Anyway, here are a few pieces of advice from the Christers on how to raise a “morally straight” child:
3. Recognize that most homosexuals “were not explicitly [so] when they were children. More often, they displayed a ‘nonmasculinity’ that set them painfully apart from other boys: unathletic — somewhat passive, unaggressive and uninterested in rough-and-tumble play. A number of them had traits that could be considered gifts: bright, precocious, social and relational, and artistically talented.” Tip: Discern whether your boy struggles with feelings of “not belonging.” If he does, seek help.
4. The father plays an essential role in a boy’s normal development as a man. “The truth is, Dad is more important than Mom. Mothers make boys. Fathers make men.… Girls can continue to grow in their identification with their mothers. On the other hand, a boy has an additional developmental task — to disidentify from his mother and identify with his father.”
This starts about 18 months of age. The father needs to be there physically and emotionally to affirm his son’s maleness for the remainder of the preschool years (and beyond, especially during puberty).
“A boy needs to see his father as confident, self-assured and decisive. He also needs him to be supportive, sensitive and caring. Mother needs to back off a bit. What I mean is, don’t smother him.” Tip: Single mothers may need to recruit a trustworthy male role model.
I need for someone to tell me that I’m insane.
I need for someone out there, anyone, to tell me that I have a seriously impaired sense of humor and that I’m missing something.
See, there’s this comic that’s being put out by a bunch of folks called ACC Studios. It’s titled Liberality for All and takes place in an Orwellian future where America is held in thrall by President Chelsea Clinton and her fiendish VP, Michael Moore. Conservative voices have been stilled by a series of hate-speech legislation called the “Coulter Laws.” The Department of Political Correctness, aided by the UN, monitors and censors all media for offensive content. The only force for freedom is an underground band of rebels called the Freedom of Information League — FOIL. According to the website, “The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed ‘Oscar’. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.” McGee’s patriotic lineage is impeccable; he was born on September 11, 2001, the son of a New York fireman whose life was saved by the fact that he was attending the birth of his son when the planes flew into the Twin Towers.
When I first found this, I thought it was a lefty parody of right-wing paranoia. But, as far as I can see, it’s the real thing. I’m tempted to mock it, but I’m too overwhelmed by a very sinister feeling of deja vu; the plotline and issues are mere steps away from direct mimicry of the right-wing “classic” The Turner Diaries, minus the explicit endorsements of white supremacy and genocide.
What fascinates me about right-wing ideology is how, the more powerful they get, the more they declare their powerlessness. Currently, the Democrats can barely get their asses in gear to get one of their own elected dog-catcher without having to kiss Republican ass, never mind overthrowing the entire Constitution. And yet, the neo-cons keep on ascribing a level of power to us liberals that is almost flattering. And the most amazing thing to me is despite decades of bitching about how “political correctness” has engendered a culture of oversensitivity, modern neocons are the whiniest, most oversensitive fuckers that you ever want to see, sensing oppression in even the smallest concession to common sense.
But really, the thing that really pisses me off about Liberality for All is this: not only have these whiny fuckers tried to force themselves into my brain by monopolizing the Presidency, the Congress, the newspapers, and the airwaves, but now they’re trying to take over my comics as well? Fuck no. What’s next? Murdoch-produced porn starring Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly?
Excuse me, I have to go bleach my brain.