“I was much happier in previous existences when I wrote plays, composed music, conquered nations, discovered continents and developed cures for diseases,” he said at a press conference. “I only took my present form because Bingodulla, whom all Scientologists worship as the Supreme Thetan, selected me to spread the gospel of Scientology to the glib, uninformed masses.”
Hannity, Liddy, and North — Superheroes!
I need for someone to tell me that I’m insane.
I need for someone out there, anyone, to tell me that I have a seriously impaired sense of humor and that I’m missing something.
See, there’s this comic that’s being put out by a bunch of folks called ACC Studios. It’s titled Liberality for All and takes place in an Orwellian future where America is held in thrall by President Chelsea Clinton and her fiendish VP, Michael Moore. Conservative voices have been stilled by a series of hate-speech legislation called the “Coulter Laws.” The Department of Political Correctness, aided by the UN, monitors and censors all media for offensive content. The only force for freedom is an underground band of rebels called the Freedom of Information League — FOIL. According to the website, “The New York City faction of F.O.I.L. is lead by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North, each uniquely endowed with special abilities devised by a bio mechanical engineer affectionately nicknamed ‘Oscar’. F.O.I.L. is soon to be joined by a young man named Reagan McGee.” McGee’s patriotic lineage is impeccable; he was born on September 11, 2001, the son of a New York fireman whose life was saved by the fact that he was attending the birth of his son when the planes flew into the Twin Towers.
When I first found this, I thought it was a lefty parody of right-wing paranoia. But, as far as I can see, it’s the real thing. I’m tempted to mock it, but I’m too overwhelmed by a very sinister feeling of deja vu; the plotline and issues are mere steps away from direct mimicry of the right-wing “classic” The Turner Diaries, minus the explicit endorsements of white supremacy and genocide.
What fascinates me about right-wing ideology is how, the more powerful they get, the more they declare their powerlessness. Currently, the Democrats can barely get their asses in gear to get one of their own elected dog-catcher without having to kiss Republican ass, never mind overthrowing the entire Constitution. And yet, the neo-cons keep on ascribing a level of power to us liberals that is almost flattering. And the most amazing thing to me is despite decades of bitching about how “political correctness” has engendered a culture of oversensitivity, modern neocons are the whiniest, most oversensitive fuckers that you ever want to see, sensing oppression in even the smallest concession to common sense.
But really, the thing that really pisses me off about Liberality for All is this: not only have these whiny fuckers tried to force themselves into my brain by monopolizing the Presidency, the Congress, the newspapers, and the airwaves, but now they’re trying to take over my comics as well? Fuck no. What’s next? Murdoch-produced porn starring Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly?
Excuse me, I have to go bleach my brain.