When capitalism and sexual obsession collide, it provides some truly breathtakingly bizarre moments. Here, on the ingeniously-named smellmeand.com, we see the result of some entrepreneur who leaned back and said to himself, â€œYou know, if I could just bottle pussy and sell it, I could make a fortune….â€
I’m sure that’s what explains the origin of Vulva Original. I’m not sure what would explain people being sucker enough to buy it, no matter how much European fashion gloss you try to doll it up with. From the site:
VULVA Original — a worldwide exclusive
The erotic, intimate scent of an irresistible woman…
The precious, vaginal odour filled into a small glass phial. The phial is shaken gently, only a tiny amount of the precious, organic substance is applied onto the back of the hand…. and the irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies and starts the film rolling in your head….
VULVA Original is not a perfume. It is a beguiling vaginal scent which is purely a substance for your own smelling pleasure.
Breathe in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the odour of a beautiful woman.
Merely reading the copy, I’m afraid, doesn’t capture the full effect of looking at the site, adorned with glossy, high-fashion photography and flash video showing coldly beautiful nude models who pose as an elegantly-dressed man smells the back of his hand and closes his eyes as he’s lifted away in sensuous rapture by the scent. Imagine any Calvin Klein perfume ad you’ve ever seen, and make it just a bit more obviously pornographic, and you have the VULVA site.
I suggest a new slogan: VULVA — For the man who really doesn’t have everything — Except too much money.