Literate Perversions

The Inevitable Dangers of Combining Kink and Science Fiction

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You always wondered what they looked like under that armor, didn’t you?

A lot of the stuff  that streams out of Twitter every day is meaningless nonsense that is only barely above the level of white noise. I have literally known people who regularly tweeted about their bowel movements. BDSM Bad Advice is one of the things that makes the whole thing worth it. Run by Jonathan Byrel Moore since August, the Twitter feed regularly gives exactly what it promises: concise tidbits of really, REALLY bad advice for BDSM which unfortunately skates the line between satire and reality. A few of the helpful hints from the Twitter feed include: [Read more…]

My Pro-Porn Week, Pt. 2: Kink.com

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Logo for Kink.comSo, on Monday I announced that as my way of commemorating Morality in Media’s White Ribbon Against Pornography Week, I would write a post every day this week about my favorite porn, stuff that in one way or another I think is hot and makes the world a better place.

Obviously, I’ve already blown that somewhat ambitious schedule by failing to get an entry in yesterday or Tuesday. My apologies about that; it’s less because I’m flaky than because I’m undergoing a lot of tsuris right now, which includes a girlfriend in the hospital while she gets turned into a cyborg by the doctors. (Long story.)

But anyway, I’m going to keep plugging away at this and get these entries in as best I can. Today, my choice of prime porn: Kink.com. [Read more…]

Good News: That Bear Stearns Stock Isn't TOTALLY Useless

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I think I have a crush on Miss Victoria X. It’s true that I don’t patronize pro-dommes, partly because of a budget that, in a particularly profitable month, might allow me to purchase the privilege of a scornfully lifted eyebrow from one as she passes me in midtown Manhattan on the way to beat the hell out of some corporate lackey at the Plaza. However, were I in the market, I think that Miss Victoria X would be on my list.

I found Miss Victoria via another tip from Sarah Jenny. Miss Victoria’s heart, it seems, has been melted by the plight of the poor employees at Bear Stearns, and she’s providing a special offer to employees, ex-employees, and soon-to-be-exes: if you buy a session with Miss Victoria, she’ll give a discount equal to the price of one share of Bear Stearns stock. When she first made her offer, BS stock was at two dollars, which wouldn’t buy you a latté at Starbucks; the discount has risen with the price of the stock, and now stands at $10.85. Miss Victoria, in her utter benevolence, has already come up with several potential scenarios for her clients:

-domestic service training (useful in preparing for future job as a janitor at Goldman Sachs)

-spanking combined with verbal chastising (“Caused!” -whack- “Sub-prime!” -whack- “Crisis!” -whack- “Very!” -whack- “Very!” -whack- “Naughty!” -whack whack whack-)

-78 cane strokes (number chosen to represent the difference between Bear Stearns’ $80 per share book value and the actual current share price of $2)

-interrogation roleplay (I am Coughlin Stoia and you are Bear Stearns. Helpful in preparing for upcoming deposition)

-master/slave roleplay (I am JP Morgan and you are Bear Stearns. Now I own you)

Potential clients will be asked to arrive with $300 cash. The discount will be given in ten one-dollar bills, three quarters, one nickel, and four pennies. The client will receive them one at a time, and will thank Miss Victoria for her generosity after each.

This is great marketing, yes, but it’s also great satire. After looking over Miss Victoria’s blog as a whole, it got an immediate spot on my blogroll and on my daily feed. She has a really wry, sharp sense of humor about sex work and it never takes the snark into the smug self-satisfaction that characterizes a lot of blogs.

Smart Perverts: Selina Raven

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During my last few weeks living in San Francisco in September, 2002, I worked briefly at a now-defunct adult newsweekly called The Spectator. Despite what anyone tells you, working with porn gets as boring as any other job really quickly. Mainly I was working reception. I took phone calls, did Excel spreadsheets, sent packages, and took ad payments from the Oakland pimps and call girls who advertised in the paper.

Selina Raven One of the other people who worked at Spectator at the same time as me was Selina Raven, a local domina who was making a little pin money doing similar admin tasks as myself. As soon as I met her, I knew two things: first, that she was seven different kinds of hot, and second, that she was really fucking smart. The two things are not unrelated.

There’s several galleries of Selina at her web page, but to get a tour of her brain, I recommend listening to the two-part interview conducted by Nova and Atticus on the Fetish Flame podcast. I especially recommend this interview to people who are just getting interested in kink and fetish play. Selina talks about how she got into kink, back in the days before there was an Internets; the three parts of the term “BDSM” (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism) and how they differ from each other; and the two main competing philosophies of kink, SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). I think the interview is especially notable for the latter point, because if you get into the kink community, you’re gonna hear a lot about these two. Just about every major mailing list or organization periodically explode into very long and very polarized debates about the distinctions between the two, and which is more appropriate for the community to promote. Usually these debates get very tiring very fast and produce a lot more heat than light. Selina explains the two in a very neutral, intelligent way that’s very rare considering the volatility of the topic. My own reaction to the RACK side of the controversy is somewhat like my reaction to pro-gun people from the NRA: I’d be a lot more sympathetic to their arguments if so many of them didn’t give the impression that they shouldn’t be trusted with anything sharper than a rubber ball.

In contrast, I’m glad to have smart and ethical people like Selina in the community, and even gladder that I’ve gotten to know so many of them. Listen to the podcast and see what I’m talking about.

Fetish Flame Interview: Part One Part Two

Welcome to the Dungeon

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Untitled document What happens when you're a sex worker awaiting a new client, and two gay-looking guys with bibles show up to save your soul?  Mistress Matisse describes it for you:

And then as my eyes adjusted from the relative dimness of the house to the glare of the sun, I got a good look at them. Two young white men, rather slim, wearing dark slacks and long-sleeved white shirts and neckties. And gold name badges.

Holy shit, it’s a pair of Mormons!

I was standing there wearing: a very short (like, it barely covers my butt), very tight, black spaghetti-strap PVC dress that gives me tons of cleavage, a waist cincher, thigh-high shiny black high-heeled boots, my hair teased up like mad, and vampire-red lipstick. And there were these two Mormon boys, who look just barely old enough to shave, clutching their notebooks in perspiring palms, looking back at me. I must have looked like either their wet dream or their worst nightmare, depending in how devout they were.

We stared at each other in mutual confusion for an instant. And then I came to my senses and said, “Oh! Oh, no, no – go away please!” and closed the door swiftly.

It was half hilarious and half mortifying. I imagined them walking away from my house, shaking their heads and jotting down a note next to my address: Hell-bound floozy lives here. Clearly beyond any hope of salvation.

I love fucking with Mormons and other religous fanatics out to save me from hell. Oh, to have been a fly on that wall.